Birthday Weekend!

ahhh! i was supposed to recap Milan but i'll get around to that later...let's talk about my aging, shall we? this is gonna be LONG...

well for one thing, i'm turning 20! it's the one age i've been dreading. seriously, i have a love hate relationship with the age 20. it means i'm officially leaving my teenage years, yah, but i'm still a whole year off from actually being technically a REAL adult by american standards ('cause 18 is legal but doesn't cut it). but then i don't want to get older so by the time i'm 21 i'm gonna wanna stay that way forever! wait, i take that back, i want to be 23 forever. lol, i like that number.

so since my birthday is officially tomorrow (how AKWARD is it to be on a monday?! ewww! hasn't been like that for YEARS!) rather than wait till the end of that week to celebrate (i won't be in the country yet again---will explain why in the future) i decided to celebrate this weekend. so here's how that went:

thursday: after class i meant to chill and  be studious and do some work but that most certainly did not happen. it just so happened to be someone ELSES birthday that day and the infamous italian/ american bar, "on the rocks" was having a ladies two for one special. meaning two drinks for the price of one. alcohol has never been an incentive for me to go anywhere before. but since "on the rocks" is a predominantly american place (although a significant amount of italian men attend---mostly to pick up american girls) the only way for me to go is if lots of other ppl were going and if i felt it was worth my money. so then it was worth my money, lol, and the drinks special was just something added on. 

anywho i decided to try something new! my usual favorites are mojitos and recently strawberry daiquiri (only frozen), this green drink (can't remember what it's called), and white wine (i LOVE white wine). and that's only because my friends make me try it because honestly i don't know jack shit about alcohol. i'm told that i hold alcohol well because the italians make their drinks STRONG (the bartenders don't measure and they but tons more alcohol than juice because its cheaper for them to do so) and i'm always just fine after three---well i'm tipsy, but i'm fine, lol. so i got persuaded to get a sex on the beach. it was ok, i guess. but after taste testing some other drinks apparently i'm a fan of rum, vodka, or bacardi mixed drinks---tequila is absolutely the most disgusting thing (next to beer) i've ever tasted in my life. it's a good thing i don't have alcoholic tendencies because i really like mixed drinks...O_O

it wasn't what happened in "on the rocks" that made my day. i mean, sure there were hot italian men (way for than usual) and yeah i made friends with some guy named Luke (not skywalker) and some african girl named Maxine, but it was when we rounded the corner and went to this dance club called "coyote" that my tipsiness  worked into me. so some guy tries dancing on my and i push him away and go "quanti anni hai?!" which is italian for "how old are you?!" because he didn't look like the 22 year old italian that my friend was dancing with. so our conversation:

him: "trienta" (30) 

me: "sei molto voccio!" (you're too old!)

him: "no no, it's okay! 10 years not so bad!"

me: *rolls eyes* "no!"

and i walk away but he follows me. "que cazzo voy? a vete!" (what the fuck do you want? leave me alone!) then i got saved by my friend. i think i woulda drop kicked his ass because i was getting so annoyed. i'm a natural fighter so if he didn't stop then i think things woulda gotten nasty. lol, i didn't have the censorship of complete soberness to save myself---well i'm pretty blunt sober so.... i was just proud that i was able to handle myself really well! ahahahaha!

friday: my official celebration day! that night i went to appertivo! appertivo is this italian thing where you simply pay for your drink and have an all you can eat buffet of little (usually cold or warm but not particularly hot) foods. so i experimented again and asked for an apple mojito (which michi says was cheating because it had mint leaves---a mojito signature) but the bartender (who was REALLY REALLY REALLY HOT!!!!!) was out of bacardi apple. SO, he offered me a Jamaican breezer instead. it's apparently chopped strawberries, pineapple, bacardi, some brown liquor, and mint leaves topped off with sliced lime, strawberry, pineapple, and sugar. SO GOOD!!!!!!! 

after some time there we made our (kinda too early) to la distilleria (no, not the cancun restaurant). La Distilleria (LD) is an imaginary neighborhood. meaning, it's not on the map and only the people who've been there know what or where it is. i just happen to know about the place from a chance visit thanks to an italian american guide me and michi met on the bus on our way back home one night. O_O lol, only the cool ppl know about that place, seriously. there are students who've been here a whole semester longer than me who have never even heard of/ seen the place. i mean, it's a 100% italian place so if you're the scared american, it's not a place for you. for one thing, LD is almost in the middle of no where. when u get off of the metro stop for LD u are literally in the middle of dead grass and graffiti sketchville. it's not until you round the corner and follow the other traveling, young, hip italians that you find yourself almost in a whole other WORLD of clubs and bars. the place is really amazing! from 2-5am it is one of the craziest little known hot spots in all of rome!

we went to a "house" club! and thanks to jill's superb italian, were able to slide in scott free! for those of u who don't kno what "house" music is---it's like the european version of baltimore club music. and if u don't know what THAT is then i can't help u, lol. it was interesting to say the least since i'm a fan of hip-hop/ r&b clubbing. i had lots of fun tho---met a hot italian guy named stefano. such a shame we met right when i was leaving. he was GORGEOUS! we had one dance and was thoroughly confused when i told him no when he asked if he could kiss me. *rolls eyes* is it me or is it that all italian boys seem to be after one thing? i mean, american boys are bad but not THIS bad! i think it's just apart of the culture because whether in italian or english he couldn't understand for the life of him why i would say no to his request! i'm like, "do you even know me?!" and he's like "what?!" even when i said it in italian. ahahahaha! he was cute so i'll be totally biased and forgive him. at least he didn't try to force himself on me. 

saturday: SOCCER!!!!!!!! i went to the olympic stadium to see roma play (and beat) siena! the roma fans are INSANE! ahhh, the europeans and their futbol! i love the atmosphere. i'll be back with pictures and more in depth info on this because i need a mile to explain everything!

Recap Part 2: Gianni and the Round Table

what can i say--everyone loves gianni. and when i say everyone i mean, EVERYONE. normally i don't do the groupie thing but gianni puts the icing on my BFF crush cake. gianni is the student activities coordinator at temple rome. good god he's HILARIOUS! he's absolutely amazingly wonderful and he's madly in love with my name (sade is one of his long time favorite singers) and every time he sees me he sings "your love is king..." holds my hand and twirls me around. but he's no fool. he's naturally funny but very aware that he has the fatal attraction of a friend magnet. so say things to him like "gianni where do you live?" or "gianni where do you hang out?" or "gianni where have you been?" he laughs and goes, "okay." and dodges all of those questions like neo would a bullet.
it's only natural that someone like that would have a seriously amazing range of wonderful italian friends. he organized a "round table" where dozens of his italian friends came to speak and practice their english with us as we asked them questions about italian culture and they asked us things about american culture. this was---two and half weeks ago? but the effects were lasting. it's amazing the things they were curious about like how sex sells so crazily, and why people are in such a hurry to leave their families. in italy, people stay with their parents well into their 30s which is like, blasphemeous in america. and PDA is SO CRAZY over here. it's...otherwordly, romantic but borderline psycho. making out in the park? no. but something looking dangerously like sex on a bench outside by the steps of the villa borghese? yes. very much so. we complained about it and they go "it's beautiful!" i guess it is. the italians have a romance that we just...lack?

and every girl had her eyes on one particular group of outspoken italians (who sat right behind me and my friends!!!!) who were definitely hot and so well dressed it made my mouth drop open. i mean really, italian men don't walk they STRUT. they strut their stuff in tailored pants, snake skin shoes, armani coats, silk gucci scarves, and 100% leather briefcases. not a single hair out of place and shades dark enough that they can see you even if you can't really see that they're watching. honestly, it's impressive

granted, they're not ALL like that. in fact, for an italian man, gianni is rather underdressed compared to the Golden Three that sat behind me. i think it was a monday that this was happening. one question asked was what was our best/ worst experience in rome so far. i had to answer that one (since san lorenzo happened that past thursday) and to my delight gianni launched into a bright eyed explaination about how much he loved my name (brownie points!) which automatically made me the center of attention among the Golden Three. And even MORE so when i talked about what happened to me in san lorenzo. interestingly enough, as if to contrast the worst, that weekend ended up finishing up as one of the best. every italian that i met afterwards were so amazingly kind and so much fun to be around. it made my spirits soar! but the italians there (particularly the Golden Three) were appalled by what i told them. "where were you?!" they asked "what did they say to you?" "how did they act towards you?!" when i told them san lorenzo one of the Golden Three snarled, "they're fools over there. don't go there they're poor and stupid!" i was touched, lol, the general consensus was that i got very unlucky in that altercation indeed.

but i had to made gianni translate to emphasis that i didn't let it affect my opinion of the people as a whole. that made them relax a bit but everyone was generally at a severe unrest. especially gianni being that he suggested that we go there in the first place. OMG, he felt SO bad that i almost wish i never said anything in the first place. but the rest of the discussion went on smoothly and everyone laughed their way to the common area for some mingling. wondering who the Golden Three are? well i'm getting to that. one of them (and the hottest one with stunning eyes and gorgeous lips) was immediately swarmed by girls. like i said earlier i don't do the groupie thing so i avoided him until much later. i loved how he had this wide-eyed innocence about him---you could tell he was oblivious to the effects of his looks. ANYWHO---the first person of the Golden Three that i met was alfredo.

alfredo is a personal trainer who was fluent in english and the one who was especially upset over my san lorenzo story. he his also an event planner in rome who works with all sorts of people with different backgrounds and he couldn't wrap his mind around such ignorance. he called me beautiful (yes, i love him---i really do) and insisted that i didn't let that incident effect me. i assured him it wouldn't. soon after i was entranced by the second of the Golden Three. He was 5' 6" maybe (next to alfredo's 5'10") and was very quiet. he was tastefully dressed in pressed grey pants, black alligator shoes, black and grey mid-length pea coat, black scarf, lightly styled hair, and an impossibly stylish dagger earring. that's the only reason that i remembered so clearly what he wore---it was impossible stylish. most boys in america look like they just rolled out of bed! what the heck was this?! his named was mario and he was a PERSONAL SHOPPER!!!! O_O every girl's dream BFF! his english was very limited but he tried really hard and when he didn't understand or couldn't explain himself as well as he wanted to alfredo translated. he was so little brother adorable. we exchanged names to find each other on facebook.

when they stepped outside to smoke, most people cleared out to take the metro home. me? stuck around. and good thing too, the last of the Golden Three was FINALLY alone. he was amazing to watch from a distance. his face was VERY expressive, his smile was killer and he was just as styling as mario (and alfredo for that matter). how we started talking? too cute: he motioned over to the last of the cake and said, "you want?" when i said no he ran over and shoved the whole slice in his mouth. i started cracking up while he rushed to swallow and said "ho fame!" which is italian for "i'm hungry!" very amazing! he introduced himself as nicola. he just moved to rome three weeks ago at that time (just like me and my friends!). he went to theater school and was an aspiring actor! THAT explained why he was so good looking and had such an expressive face. my god---SO theatric, i loved it. he worked part time as a bartender and was 21. he was very interesting in knowing where i was from, ethnically and showed he was brains as well as beauty with an extensive mental map of africa in his head when i told him i was half nigerian. loved him , honestly.

he didn't realize that i already met the other members of the Golden Three so he had a fit trying to introduce me to alfredo and mario when i already knew them. it was the cutest thing because when he would go to introduce us and i would explain that i already met them he would go, "oh! okay, well i bet you haven't met..." and proceeded to introduce me to all his friends. so as of now i'm friends with alfredo, mario, and nicola on facebook. they're all so wonderful. i hope to meet with them again someday! i'll definitely see nicola and alfredo (michi has already ran into nicola on the metro!!!!) but mario lives in venice so.....

Recap part 2: OVER!!!!

Recap Part 1: Race and Rome

well i'm definitely behind and lots have happened since my last entry so it's high time i stopped being lazy and started bringing ppl up to speed.

a couple of weekends ago (pretty sure it was still january then...oops...) me and michi, and new friend jillian donned some chill clothing and decided to brave the kinda sketchy italian student neighborhood, san lorenzo. 

during the day san lorenzo is creepy as hell. it's deserted because the student residents are at school and because it's cold, they're in doors. every inch of EVERYTHING is cover in graffiti, from simple tagging to politically charged comments. everything from "lazio merda" (lazio shit---lazio is the facist soccer team in rome) to swastikas and communist signs, to peace and rainbows, to full scale works of arts. it's a great and terrible beauty! by nightfall tho, the streets come alive in ways you wouldn't believe! every inch of it covered in young, smoking, drunk, rowdy, (and hot italian boys) young people. there was SO MUCH to see. it was obviously a non tourist spot so we had literally thrown ourselves headfirst into the italian cultural pool. 

first we kinda wandered around. i mean, we obviously stuck out as not being italian. we didn't linger with the other italian people there who were in crowds of 7 or more, so 3 free-floaters are a dead give away. and also, michi is korean, i'm black, and jillian is like 5' 9" when the average italian girl height is like 5' 3" so it's not like we blended in in anyway. we settled on one bar where the bartenders were really nice. if i remember correctly i didn't really have any money on my so i didn't order a drink but michi and jill did. we spent most of the time giggling and observing our surroundings. italians are VERY interesting to watch, and it's not just the crazy hand waving--it's also the eye contact and body language. you could always tell when it was a group of friends or lovers going out. italian men are very romantic, can hardly keep their hands off their blushing girlfriends. i guess it's kinda cute--sometimes it's kinda sleezy---but it's still not american so therefor very enchanting.

after an hour or so there, we decided we had failed miserably at our mission (that was to meet hot italian boys and practice our italian with them) and stopped by to get something to eat. i remember that i had just straightened my hair that night (i had been keeping it curly since i got there) we had only been in rome for 2-3 weeks i think...but i was very conscious of race in a way that i didn't think i would be. rome isn't a racist city---they have immigrants all over the place so it's kinda impossible to shock anyone with race. but that doesn't mean everyone is particularly welcoming. most of the immigrants here are african or asian. most of the asian immigrants are from china. you rarely see them but they do own little restaurants here and there and sell things in large market places. however, the annoying street vendors and solicitors that liter rome almost to a fault are lybian, tunisian, egyptian, ect---north african. very dark skin or dusty brown middle eastern skin. they are very much disliked almost as much as the gypsies who are facing crisis as the new right-winged italian prime minister (that some call the next mussolini---which is VERY bad) is taking away their homes and trying to force them out the country.

now, while my skin isn't as dark as the north africans, as i am half nigerian myself, i have african features as well as medium to dark shaded skin. i'm always getting stares, and more of polite curiosity as i'm difficult to place. i'm not selling anything even tho i look african enough to be like those vendors, i'm young but i'm not carrying a baby or asking for money so i'm not poor, i have a book bag so maybe i'm a student but i don't speak italian so maybe i'm british? perhaps luckily (or unluckily?) so the last assumption they make is that i'm american. but i'm okay with it, the stares crack me up. i knows it's out of polite interest and it doesn't bother me anymore. but if there is one thing that i do know, it's when i'm being looked down upon. those stares are dark and menacing or dismissive. those people don't meet my eyes and mutter under their breath when they see me. but i don't think much of that either---i come from the so called "land of the free and home of the brave" but i've experience similar things. i don't know, maybe i was secretly hoping that coming to italy would mean something different? or maybe i was worried all along that race would be an issue but i was secretly hoping to be wrong.

but then i was right...

the boys that we ran into were nice enough. but the atmosphere changed. at that time i didn't know much italian but i knew when they were saying underhanded comments and i especially knew that it was particularly about me. they turned their backs to me, they dismissed my words and one went as far as to say, "you and you can come with us (referring to michi and jillian) but she can just go away." before that point i knew i was being singled out and it made be very uncomfortable but michi and jill were enjoying themselves because they guys generally liked THEM. i didn't feel threatened enough to say something, but when that guy said that i to me i was so angry and hurt. i think because he verbally communicated what i was feeling the whole time and i just didn't want to here it. shame, i didn't know how to curse. i just walked away. i was aggravated that jill and michi didn't notice, i was aggravated that when i started walking away they kept calling me to come back. i couldn't blame them, i DIDN'T blame them but i wanted them to understand what i obviously couldn't explain. i knew it wasn't because i was black. jill is black too---but jill is about 35 million shades lighter than me. i think it was the darkness of my skin that singled me out. it's not something i could hide. not something i WANTED to hide anyway---i'm proud of the color of my skin and i'm proud of my odd name and where i come from even if it wasn't always like that.

they followed me to the piazza where the other young people were gathered. but they were far enough behind that they didn't here the hissing, the barking--literally barking like dogs at me, the "hey africa!" people were yelling at me, and the kissing noises of men trying to hire me like i was prostitute. and when they asked me what was wrong i just snapped. i wanted to cry, i wanted to scream, i wanted to LEAVE and it bothered me that rather than rush away they insisted i tell them what was wrong. i didn't even want to talk about it and they were angry at ME that i was angry. maybe thought i was jealous that the guys were talking to them and not to me, i don't know, but i had to hold everything inside. the boy apologized to me and said "joking! joking!" but i'm not STUPID, i just didn't know how to say that in italian. when they all left none of them said goodbye to me, i was just happy to get a taxi and get home.

i cried myself to sleep that night. i didn't hate italian people, but i hated those boys for making me feel worthless and uncomfortable and self conscious about the color of my skin.  and i hated them for ruining what ignorance i had on the subject of race in rome because no matter how you slice it, ignorance IS bliss. it crushed my spirit and whatever it was inside of me that made me bold and defiant, was silenced. for the first time in such rare occasions i was at a loss for words because i couldn't quite communicate them that way. and when i woke up the next day i was empty inside. but i think i decided that i wasn't going to let that experience ruin the rest of my time here. i think that's why some three weeks later that experience is such a distant memory and even though thinking about it makes me feel terrible i'm still eager to learn more about italian culture. and i HAVE.

recap part 1 is over---wow---i had a lot to say...